Diane

Dear Diane,

I miss you. I miss our sundaes, I miss your laugh, I miss the way you used to comb my hair and how you'd always listen to me, wether it was a stupid complain or a question I had. I miss your sweet voice, sometimes I even think I hear you, talking to me, but when I turn around your voice fades in the wind, and I let a tear escape my eyes. I know you told me to be strong and not to cry, but it's just too much to ask, it's already been three years and the pain's still here. It pierces through my soul eveytime I see your room with all your stuff, everytime I walk past a couple of girls chatting and laughing, thinking that should've been us. I know you always told me not to wonder too much, and not to regret things but I do, I regret not being with you when you passed away, I regret not holding your hand and kissing you goodbye, I regret all the time I wasted, because I never knew what a precious gift you were until I was about to lose you. I even remember I prayed, I said: God, okay I learnt my lesson, I'll learn to appreciate things more, so you can stop now, you can let her live, but still... you died. I was so angry, and so hurt, and I still am... I love you Diane, and I'll never ever forget you, I'll take you along in my heart forever.

yours,
me.

My sister died when I was twelve, and life was never quite the same after that. When she was alive, we'd play hide and seek, we'd sing Britney Spears to the top of our lungs while driving in her car, we'd talk about everything and we'd go get sundaes every sunday. I remember my mom would make brownies once a month on our "family day", it was the last saturday of every month and we'd sit in the living room and play UNO, or just random board games, we'd talk about everything and we would all cook dinner together while my mom baked the brownies. It was awesome. She was awesome. She was very beautiful too, I'd love to sit on her bed and watch her comb her long hair, and then she'd turn around and motion me to go with her and she'd comb mine.
"Your hair is so pretty, Diane, when will mine be like that?"
"Honey, I have straight hair, and yours is curly, it's different types of hair," she'd say with a smile.
"But that ain't fair, I want straight hair also."
"Don't say that!"
"Why not?"
"Cuz I wish I had curly hair like yours, it's so beautiful, when you grow up you'll see how boys chase after you because of your hair, mark my words."
She had hazel eyes and she was tall and slim, she was perfect, and she was my best friend.
She was the one I'd run to everytime I had a nightmare, I'd go to her bedroom crying and she'd make place for me in her bed. I always loved her bed, it smelled of her and had all of her pretty pillows with little jewels sewn. I remember she'd soothe me and sing me to sleep, I did this until I turned eleven and my mom told me I was too old for being baby-ed by my sister. I wish I would've continued doing it.
I wish... I wish she'd be here with me, I wish I could run to her everytime our parents fought, now I have to settle with going to her room and shutting the door while I hide under her covers, trying to find her scent. I wish I could tell her about Ronnie, and how he's crazy about my curly hair, I wish she would've been here to explain things to me when I got my first period. It was such a lonely time then, it had been four months since she had died and my mom wasn't quite herself yet, well, she still isn't. It's funny how people change, how families that are struck by tragedy can suddenly become so fragile.
My family isn't what it used to be, my mom has never gotten near brownies again, my dad's absent so much time that sometimes I wonder if he still lives with us, there were never more "family days". No more sundaes, no more movies, no more anything. And me? I live like a ghost, never really here, never really anywhere else. I know that I'll always miss my sister, and I know that my heart will never be truly whole again, because she took a part of me when she died. I just wish she would've let me tag along when she left the earth.
Dont misunderstand me, I dont want to die, I just wish that wherever my sister is... I'd be with her.

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Just so you know, this is all fictional :)