Don't ask me to wait.

"You can't ask me to wait for you, Bree... it's not fair."
"...but I love you, Shawn."
"Yeah, and so do I, but you're not coming back, and by asking me to wait, you're asking me to suffer!"
"What do you mean?"
"How would you feel if I asked you to wait for me but told you I'm not really sure when I'll come back, or if I'll ever come back at all, huh?"
"..."
"Suddenly you went mute?"
"Don't be rude, Shawn..."
"...I'm sorry, it's just that... I love you, Bree, but this... this is not possible, I'm sorry..."
"I'll always love you, Shawn..."
"Don't make promises you can't keep Bree... Goodbye"
"Shawn..."
____________________________
Out of the doubt that fills my mind,
I somehow find you and I, collide.

I shall not surrender.

Even though it's been months since I last did it, that doesn't mean I don't still think about it at times. There are moments when it's hard, there are moments when I feel like surrendering, when I just want t give up and do it all over again. But there's always someone that keeps me from doing it, and most of the times, that person doesn't even know it. But yeah, why lie? I still think about it, there have been times when I've been there again, in the point of no return, but I've always managed to run, I always decide that I'll eat. I shall not surrender. I will not surrender. I don't want to go back there again, I've come so far, too far to screw things up again. This is a path, a difficult path, but I will come out this alive and healthy.

I shall not surrender.

Yes, I'm sorry.

Yes, you've got my heart on your sleeve.
Yes, I love you.
Yes, I'm not afraid to say so.
Yes, I'd like to be with you.
Yes, I'd love to love you.
Yes, I'd like you to love me too.
Yes, I know this is stupid.
Yes, I'm aware of the situation.
Yes, I know it might not be the right time.
Yes, I know I might not be the right one.
Yes, I still want to try.
Because yes, I'd like to be the right one.
Yes... I'm making a fool of myself u.u
Yes... I'm sorry.

______________________
Oh, simple thing... where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

Sin título

Y en las noches cuado la luna brilla es porque está feliz de verte y de tenerte cerca, porque se regocija al ver lo hermosa que eres y lo bien que estás, pero los días que desaparece es porque se escapa a contarme los detalles de ti, porque por mas que ella te ame, ella sabe que nunca nada ni nadie te amará como te amo yo.

Just an ordinary boy but he was looking to the sky ♥

So, today while I was thinking about today's post it hit me that I've been talking about love a lot and I haven't introduced you to the love of my life, he's the sweetest boy you could ever meet :) I love him soo much! He's like the cheese to my macaroni, the pop to my tart, the rock to my star and the peanut butter to my jelly ♥! He's my angel n.n Whenever I'm sad he's always there, and I love to kiss him and hug him.
He's like the most handome boy ever :D and I mean that ;D. He's just like... the person that makes me wanna fight everyday for a better world, he's my reason, my all. Can you tell how much I love him? Hahaha I suppose you can. Seriously, if you could meet him, you'd fall for his charm also, he's a don juan, totally :D hahaha but omg he's just sooo cute!! Well well well, I just talk and talk about him and you don't even know him! Well, let me introduce you to Juan Carlos, he's my little brother who has Down Syndrome, and he's the spark in my life n.n:

Didn't I tell you he was the cutest? n.n

_____________________________________________
Hello, I love you ♥

Love

Feeling like there's a revolution inside you.
Being crazy and blind and a little obsessed.
Creating a perfect world around someone else.
Losing your head.
Attacking your logic with emotions.
A wave of peace surrounded by chaos.
A sweet melody you always like to sing.
An angel's lullaby.
Chaos beautifully arranged.
A combination of everything and nothing that leaves you feeling just right.
Being possesed by an undescribable feeling.
Singing and dancing when there's no music.
Seeing the bright side all the time.
Watching that someone for hours at a time and never growing tired of it.
Giving up yourself to make space for someone else.
Adding a new special date on the calendar.
Spending your time thinking of ways to make that someone feel special.
Planning your whole weekend according to someone else's desires.
Growing insane for someone.
Starting to believe in fate, in things you used to call stupid.
Making a fool of yourself just to make someone smile.
Telling bad jokes just cuz you can.
Planning romantic, cheesy stuff.
Wearing that awful outfit just cuz somebody likes it.
Like a ray of sunshine that brightens your life.
A forever.
An always.
A chance.
A hope.
Something that keeps you wishing.
Happiness.
An appointment with destiny.
A life saver.
A permanent seasick feeling that you adore.
A drunkness you wish would stay forever.
A rooting that lets you fly.
A contradiction.
A beautiful disaster.
Electricity running through your veins everytime you see that someone.
A shudder you feel when you hear that someone's voice.
Being lost in someone's eyes.
Staring blankly at space because life has never been so beautiful.
A choice.
A decision.
An option.
A mist of air that awakens the soul.
A chunk of ice that makes you shiver.
A hot coal that burns.
A delicacy.

A thing that cannot be described, you can try, but words can only get you so far.
____________________________________
Love's what keeps me spinning around and what roots me down to the earth, all at the same time, cuz that's what love is. A contradiction. A damn beautiful contradiction.

I wish I was your favorite girl.

You look so sweet sitting down with legs crossed, your face is staring at nowhere, just blankly looking through the space, your eyes are lost in a dream, and your hair is floating. Your lips quiver a bit and your hands are at your side drumming as always. You hold your BlacBerry like it's some treasure and then you suddenly wake up from your hypnosis and look me in the eye and smile. You turn your head upward and look to the sky, y0u let the rays of sun bathe you and it's like they bring you to life. Your skin ever so soft enlightens with the sunlight and I have to battle with the urge of hugging you. I turn away and you turn to look at me, as if you could read my mind, you give me your puppy eyes and your look turns gloomy as you ask: "Hey, what's up? Something wrong?" And I smile because it melts me everytime you worry about me and I just shake my head and you smile back and tilt your head backwards again, absorbing as much sun as you can. You start singing and you drift away again. In my mind I'm silently hugging you and telling you how much I love you, and how much I wish you'd always be like this. Happy.

Love's the solution.

He asked:
What's your solution?
Hate, envy, solitude, suicide, depression, selfishness, heartbreak, pain, rejection, war, perfectionism, anorexia, bulimia, self-hatred, pride, low self-steem.

She answered:
Hope, peace, faith... Love.

He said:
You can't fix everything with love.

She answered:
Not everything, everyone.

He said:
Love's stupid.

She said:
No it's not, it can change the world if we'd only let it.

He said:
Oh really? Name one, just one person who was changed by love.

She said:
Me.

_______________________________
The truth is love is all we need.

Diane

Dear Diane,

I miss you. I miss our sundaes, I miss your laugh, I miss the way you used to comb my hair and how you'd always listen to me, wether it was a stupid complain or a question I had. I miss your sweet voice, sometimes I even think I hear you, talking to me, but when I turn around your voice fades in the wind, and I let a tear escape my eyes. I know you told me to be strong and not to cry, but it's just too much to ask, it's already been three years and the pain's still here. It pierces through my soul eveytime I see your room with all your stuff, everytime I walk past a couple of girls chatting and laughing, thinking that should've been us. I know you always told me not to wonder too much, and not to regret things but I do, I regret not being with you when you passed away, I regret not holding your hand and kissing you goodbye, I regret all the time I wasted, because I never knew what a precious gift you were until I was about to lose you. I even remember I prayed, I said: God, okay I learnt my lesson, I'll learn to appreciate things more, so you can stop now, you can let her live, but still... you died. I was so angry, and so hurt, and I still am... I love you Diane, and I'll never ever forget you, I'll take you along in my heart forever.

yours,
me.

My sister died when I was twelve, and life was never quite the same after that. When she was alive, we'd play hide and seek, we'd sing Britney Spears to the top of our lungs while driving in her car, we'd talk about everything and we'd go get sundaes every sunday. I remember my mom would make brownies once a month on our "family day", it was the last saturday of every month and we'd sit in the living room and play UNO, or just random board games, we'd talk about everything and we would all cook dinner together while my mom baked the brownies. It was awesome. She was awesome. She was very beautiful too, I'd love to sit on her bed and watch her comb her long hair, and then she'd turn around and motion me to go with her and she'd comb mine.
"Your hair is so pretty, Diane, when will mine be like that?"
"Honey, I have straight hair, and yours is curly, it's different types of hair," she'd say with a smile.
"But that ain't fair, I want straight hair also."
"Don't say that!"
"Why not?"
"Cuz I wish I had curly hair like yours, it's so beautiful, when you grow up you'll see how boys chase after you because of your hair, mark my words."
She had hazel eyes and she was tall and slim, she was perfect, and she was my best friend.
She was the one I'd run to everytime I had a nightmare, I'd go to her bedroom crying and she'd make place for me in her bed. I always loved her bed, it smelled of her and had all of her pretty pillows with little jewels sewn. I remember she'd soothe me and sing me to sleep, I did this until I turned eleven and my mom told me I was too old for being baby-ed by my sister. I wish I would've continued doing it.
I wish... I wish she'd be here with me, I wish I could run to her everytime our parents fought, now I have to settle with going to her room and shutting the door while I hide under her covers, trying to find her scent. I wish I could tell her about Ronnie, and how he's crazy about my curly hair, I wish she would've been here to explain things to me when I got my first period. It was such a lonely time then, it had been four months since she had died and my mom wasn't quite herself yet, well, she still isn't. It's funny how people change, how families that are struck by tragedy can suddenly become so fragile.
My family isn't what it used to be, my mom has never gotten near brownies again, my dad's absent so much time that sometimes I wonder if he still lives with us, there were never more "family days". No more sundaes, no more movies, no more anything. And me? I live like a ghost, never really here, never really anywhere else. I know that I'll always miss my sister, and I know that my heart will never be truly whole again, because she took a part of me when she died. I just wish she would've let me tag along when she left the earth.
Dont misunderstand me, I dont want to die, I just wish that wherever my sister is... I'd be with her.

______________________________
Just so you know, this is all fictional :)

The girl in deep blue converse.

So, starting today, I intend to write for a week, everyday. I'll write about anything and everything, I hope I can achieve my goal since I always forget about my blog for such a long time, but well, we'll see how it goes, I'll start today:

So today I was in the ATS waiting for my friend's sister to get out of school while I was listening to Sean Paul in my iPod, but then other groups started coming out, and I decided I'd quit the music and look around, not because I knew anyone but simply because I like to observe, I like to watch people and how they act, how they dress... basically I like to watch people, period. So I watched the little kids wandering about and trying to figure out who could jump higher. Then the high school students started coming out and I saw this girl who seemed to be in her own world. She was wearing torn jeans, deep blue converse and a white t-shirt with some print I couldn't see, her hair was down and she was looking about, just like I was. No, I wasn't stalking her, she just seemed... interesting. It was the kind of girl who wouldn't care about your opinion on her looks, who would write things down (like me) and not care if anyone ever reads it, or if anyone ever even likes it. She started walking down the path, and I noticed she was wearing a lot of bracelets in her right hand, they were pretty cool, and that's were my mind went off. My imagination started knitting together her looks, her bracelets and all of her made-up personality. I imagined her to be a rebel, not the yelling, stubborn type of rebel, but more like the quiet one that stands her ground all the time. I started imagining her in different scenarios, until I got to one I liked best and told my imagination to let me wander in that scene.
In the scene she was dressed in white while wearing her deep blue converse, her hair was down and she wore no make-up. Her hands were free of bracelets and there was another girl with her, and she walked up to her and hugged her, the girl in reply stretched her arm and opened her hand, there was a locket inside, she gave it to the girl in deep blue converse and she started crying, and suddenly, the wind carried her away, not like a balloon, but more like a bunch of petals that are blown swiftly across the fields by the wind, she just faded. But you could see her colors being carried by the wind. As soon as the girl in deep blue converse was about to say something, someone knocked on the window and I opened my eyes, not knowing I had even closed them. It was my friend's sister. She got inside the car and we left. I tried to search for the girl but didn't see her anymore. I decided to forget about it and turned off my imagination as I drifted away looking at the road as Miguel (the driver) took me home. No more wild dreams, at least for today.
_____________________________________

Love might not get you around the world, but it'll take you to the stars, where will hate take you, huh?

Dear God:

I just wanted to tell you one thing: Thank you. I know you already know why, but let's pretend you don't okay? :) I wanted to thank you well first, for the usual you know, my family, my friends, health, and all that, but right now I wanna focus on something... I wanna thank you for loving me when I don't know how to love myself. I wanna thank you for accepting me and loving me all the same, this past months have been a transition for me, and I know you know what I'm talking about, I don't know if you're pro or con about all this, but what I DO know is that whatever your opinion about all this, you'll still love me. And that alone is a HUGE thing, and I'm not very good for talking just like that, my thing... my thing's to write, so I figured I'd write you a letter, and here it is. God, I love you, I may not say it much, but in my heart that's how it is. Thanks.

Yours,
Anneh.

Por partes.

Esto lo escribí hace ya ratillo, pero recién lo encontré en mi fb, asi que decidí ponerlo aquí también:

Mi madre me miraba de reojo cada cinco minutos, hacía como que revisaba algo en la guantera pero yo sabía que en realidad solo pretendía para poder acercarse un poco a mi rostro para verificar que no estuviera llorando. Hacía como que se aclaraba la garganta para ver si me animaba a decir algo y hasta trataba de poner música agradable en la radio, cosa en la que falló ya que en medio de la carretera no hay señal alguna. Llevabamos cuatro dias sin hablarnos, cuatro días. Ya era un record. Yo insisto en que ella tuvo la culpa, ella y su afán por inscribirme en el patético colegio situado a mas de 20,000 kilometros de casa, lejos de mis amigos, de mi casa, de mi banda y de todo lo que yo alguna vez había conocido.
El colegio Winchest para señoritas representaba todo lo que yo repudiaba: niñas fresas, mucho maquillaje y toneladas y toneladas de té que no sabe a absolutamente nada. Pero por alguna razón mi madre pensó que eso era exactamente lo que me hacia falta, no las toneladas de té, pero todo lo que el famoso colegio representaba para ella, la oportunidad de que su hija, o sea yo, se convirtiera en una dama de clase. A mi en lo personal me importaba poco lo que ella pensara de mí, yo era perfectamente feliz con mi banda de rock, mi pelo naranja y mis uñas color rojo.
"Sofía, no te enfades conmigo, es por tu propio bien, ya verás como te gustará el colegio, harás nuevas amigas y con un poco de suerte..."
Gire lentamente la cabeza y me acerqué a su rostro hasta que nuestras narices casi rozaban una con la otra.
"Con un poco de suerte ¿qué mamá?"
"¿Eso significa que ya me hablarás?" preguntó mientras forzaba una sonrisa en su rostro.
"Responde lo que te pregunté,"
Se quedó en silencio unos segundos y después vi como lentamente sus ojos se tornaban duros, queriendo disfrazar algun tipo de enojo.
"Con un poco de suerte aprenderás a ser como ellas." dijo finalmente.
Después de decir esto, fijó su vista en la carretera y no mostraba indicios de querer mover su mirada de allí, y por unos instantes consideré contestarle algo, pero sabía que no valía la pena así que decidí seguir torturandole con la ley del hielo, solo que esta vez decidí alejarme totalmente de ella. Así que giré y me dirigí hacia la parte de atrás de nuestra camioneta, había algo de equipaje pero era mejor que estar enfrente con mi madre.
"¡Basta Sofía, regresa aquí de inmediato!" retiró la mirada de la carretera en el momento justo en que un auto compacto venía de una salida de la cual mi madre no se había percatado, al escuchar el claxon del auto mi madré viró de tal modo que solo recuerdo salir volando por la ventana abierta que se encontraba detrás de mi, impactando fuertemente con mi hombro derecho en el pavimento.

Nube para ti.

Me haré nube y le diré al viento que me lleve hacia ti y me meteré por tu ventana y cuando sientas una cálida brisa, seré yo que te dejé un beso al pasar (:

_____________
Something in the way she moves, attracts me like no other lover.

MT: Spacecowboy ft. Chelsea - Falling Down

Mas que a nada en el mundo.

La respiración de Paula se entrecortaba y su corazón latía cada vez con menos fuerza, se iba desmoronando poco a poco y su alma estaba apunto de irse.
-"No me dejes, Paula, no sé qué haré sin ti."- le dijo León, tratando de no llorar.
Paula le dedicó una débil sonrisa y cerró los ojos.
-"No, Paula, no te vayas, no aún..."
-"León, ¿me amas?"- dijo ella con una voz que mas que eso, era un susurro.
Él la miró fijamente unos instantes.
-"Mas que a nada en el mundo."
Paula abrió los ojos lentamente y supo en ese instante que él era el muchacho del cual le había hablado el sabio de las galaxias. Era él quien podría hacer la diferencia en el mundo.
-"Repítelo."
Él la miró confundido y la tomó entre sus brazos.
-"Mas que a nada en el mundo. Paula, te amo mas que a nada en el mundo."
Ella sonrió y con las pocas fuerzas que le quedaban levantó su mano derecha y le tocó el rostro a León.
-"León, tu debes de completar lo que yo dejo sin terminar, eres tú el único que puede hacerlo, la galaxia y el pueblo de los Xhara te necesitan."
-"No, Paula, no puedo hacerlo sin ti, por favor no me dejes..."
Ella cerró los ojos nuevamente y puso su mano en el pecho de León, produciendo un haz de luz, entre mas fuerte se hacía la luz, mas pálida se ponía Paula, fue entonces cuando León entendió lo que estaba pasando.
-"¡No, Paula! Por favor, no lo hagas."
-"Qúedate c-con mi poder...q-que... que mi amor... te... de fuerzas... León, yo te amé... n-nunca lo o-olvides..."
Él pudo sentir como ella se iba desvaneciendo poco a poco, convirtiendose en pequeñas burbujas de luz que subían hacia el otro universo, quiso abrazarla una vez mas, pero ya era demasiado tarde, su cuerpo había pasado a formar parte de la galaxia y su alma había partido.
Se puso de pie, con un nuevo objetivo, el de salvar la galaxia y al dar el primer paso, pudo sentir a Paula dentro de él y derramó una lágrima.
-"No te defraudaré, Paula... salvaré la galaxia y a nuestro pueblo, aunque sea lo último que haga..."
Miró hacia arriba y pudo ver las burbujas de luz alejándose.
-"Mas que nada en el mundo, Paula... no me olvides."

________________
Inspiración:
Mas que a nada en el mundo - Austin TV
Ella no me conoce - Austin TV
Paula - Zoé

There goes the fear.

It's been a while since I posted something, it would be very easy to say I've been busy but that's not true, or well kind of but that's not the reason I've not posted anything, it's cuz I never liked anything I wrote. I tend to do that, think that something I write isn't good enough, I've a perfeccionist my whole life, old habits die hard, right? Well, Im gonna work on that. :)

So this week I wanna write something cool, still don't know what, but it's gonna be awesome, I've had the idea on my head for weeks now, but I never had the guts to actually write it, so Im gonna do it, at least start it this week, thats a personal promise n.n

Today, I watched three and a half movies:
500 days of Summer
Push
Hounddog
Up (half)

tomorrow I'll finish watching Up, but the other three, ohboy! I cried, I was scared, I was hurt and I smiled also. Highly recommend any of these movies, well anyways, Im off, g'night.

______________
Preserve your memories, they're all that's left you.

Winnie-the-Pooh

""What day is it?"
"It's today," squeaked Piglet.
"My favorite day," said Pooh."
- A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Pooh)

______________
I want you so bad it's my only wish.

Quotes

Today I wanna do a post with only quotes that I love :)

"I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her."

- Ellen DeGeneres

"Well, that's your opinion, isn't it? And I'm not about to waste my time trying to change it."

- Lady GaGa

"Bottom line is, we never fall for the people we're supposed to."

- Jodi Picoult

"Be the change that you wish to see in the world."

- Mahatma Ghandi

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

- Marilyn Monroe

"A room without books is like a body without a soul."

- Marcus Tullius Cicero

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."

- Marilyn Monroe

"Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days."

- Ellen DeGeneres

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."

- Mae West

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square hole. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."

- Apple Computer Inc.

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

- Maya Angelou

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

- Steve Martin

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells."

- Dr. Seuss

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."

- Robert A. Heinlein

"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. "

- Bill Gates

"I have always imagined that Paradise will be some kind of library."

- Jorge Luis Borges

"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way."

- Pablo Neruda

"For once, you believed in yourself, you believed you were beautiful and so did the rest of the world."

- Sarah Dessen

"Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend."

- Sarah Dessen

"You dont love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not."

- Jodi Picoult

"I can write the saddest poem of all tonight. I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too."

- Pablo Neruda

"We accept the love we think we deserve."

- Stepehn Chbosky

"There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate."

- Charles Dickens

"When you love someone, you say their name different. Like it's safe inside your mouth."

- Jodi Picoult

I have a lot more quotes I'd like to put in here, but I think for today, it's more than enough :)

______________
Tinta y papel, haz de esto una novela.

Learn.

"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it."

- Mother Teresa

I'm affected by the sound.

Hoy solo sé que no sé nada. No sé que me gusta, y que no me gusta. No sé si querer está bien, o está mal. No sé si tengo un rol model anymore. No sé si me gusta la persona quien soy, no se si está bien querer ser quien quiero ser. No sé si tengo ganas o si no tengo ganas. No sé si las cosas están bien o están mal. No sé si me duele la cabeza porque tengo sueño o porque estoy preocupada o por las dos. No sé si me he sentido enferma las últimas dos semanas por lo que ha pasado o porque en verdad me estoy enfermando. No sé si creerle a la maestra de psicología que dice que el cuerpo reacciona a los sentimientos. No sé si el escribir esto me hace una persona dramática, o si me hace una persona que necesita desesperadamente de alguna manera sacar lo que tengo adentro porque sino, explotaré. No sé si sé, o si no sé. No sé que significa esto, ni si quiera sé si significa algo. Pero pensadolo bien, hay algo que sí sé hoy: Hoy sé que Mariana me quiere y que she cares. Mariana, no tienes idea de lo mucho que hoy significó para mí, you gave a little meaning to my life today, and for that, I thank you. I love you, kind of a lot. <3

___________
I ain't got many friends left to talk to
No one's around when I'm in trouble
You know I'd do anything for you
Your Love - The Outfield

The rain.

I look down at what Im holding in my hands, it's cold and it feels strange to be holding it, I close my eyes and I grasp it. I can hear the rain coming, the clouds aproaching, and the thunders getting ready. I open my hands and look down at it again, my heart pounds and the fist in my stomach tightens. The lightning starts, and the thunders are like a rumbling in the sky. I fall to my knees and feel like the world has lost its color. The rumbling starts growing, and the lightning starts to feel like God's taking pictures of me with the brightest flash in the camera. I feel betrayed, and I can feel the anger slowly crawling through me, but I push it back, and I try to feel numb, to feel no pain at all, but I fail and my heart starts aching. Just so you know, betrayal tastes like rusted metal. The rain starts falling, swiftly at first, and then, just as swiftly as the rain, come the tears. The tears of a broken-hearted man, who just found out his wife left, leaving him her wedding ring as the only reminder that she existed. I stand up and go outside, the cold rain sends chills through my body, but if I don't do this now, I might never be able to. I head to the lake in the back and gather every ounce of strength my heart has left, and throw the ring to the bottom of the lake, drowning with it all of my dreams.

_______________
I'm miles from where you are,I lay down on the cold ground, I pray that something picks me up and sets me down in your warm arms.

Preguntas y respuestas.

Hace días una aplicación de facebook llamada Social Interview me hizo una pregunto que me dejó pensando: Si puediera ser un objeto inanimado por un día, que sería? Me confundió bastante porque pues, ¿quien piensa en eso? Todos mas bien pensamos en que si pudieramos ser alguien mas, ¿quién seríamos? pero la pregunta aquí es qué. Me sacó mucho de onda y me la brinqué, pero no podía sacarmela de la mente. Ese mismo día pero mas tarde, me metí de nuevo, y me salió de nuevo la dichosa pregunta, y no la contesté, pero tampoco me la brinqué, simplemente dejé la ventana ahí, abierta para contestarla después. Ahora que lo pienso, ya sé que sería. Sería una de dos cosas: Una lámpara en Central Park, NY; o un libro. Ahora he aquí el porqué.

Lámpara en Central Park, NY:
- Porque sería asombroso poder observar la vida desde ese ángulo, porque podría ver la vida del parque de día y de noche, cada una viviendo una fase tan diferente a la otra. De día quizás vería a niños con su familia de paseo jugando y corriendo, o quizás a algun adolescente patinando. También podría ver a alguna señora adinerada paseando a su perro, o quizás a algún vagabundo caminando sin sentido. También podría ver los animales que por allí habitan, quizás ver a alguna ardilla o algun ave, cada cual viviendo su vida, sin saber que mas allá de ellos mismo, existe otro mundo del cual nada conocen. De noche, podría ver a parejas teniendo románticas caminatas por el parque, quizás podría presenciar uno que otro beso discreto, o quizás hasta una propuesta de matrimonio. También puede que me toque presenciar un evento de algún tipo, musical, artístico o de alguna otra índole. Pero no todo es bello, podría ser mi suerte presenciar alguna tragedia, un asesinato, un hombre lastimar a una mujer, no solo fisicamente, sino verbalmente. Podría tocarme ver como un niño pequeño es acosado por niños mayores, podría tocarme ver como una joven pareja termina su romance, dejando trás de si los pedazos de uno o mas corazones rotos. En fin, podría tocarme ver de todo, y observar la vida desde otra perspectiva.

Libro:
No importa realmente de que, pero si se dónde, de una biblioteca en una escuela pública. ¿Porqué? Porque podría pasar por la mano de cientos de alumnos, y podría aprender mucho mas yo de ellos, que ellos de mi. Porque ellos de mi aprenderían letras, palabras, teoría, pero yo de ellos aprendería práctica. Porque yo aprendería de su vida, podría observarlos mientras me tuvieran y aprendería de sus errores, de sus victorias, viviría junto a ellos miles de experiencias, y aprendería como cada persona es mas diferente de las demás de lo que pensamos, porque sé que habrán alumnos que me dejen botada en la mochila o en el locker, y en cambio otros, no me soltarían por nada del mundo, y me consultarían a cada minuto para revisar datos y confirmar suposiciones. Yo me haría de mis ideas sobre cada tipo de alumno, el que prefiere estudiar, y el que prefiere vivir, pero con el tiempo me daría cuenta que ninguno es mejor que el otro, sino que simplemente son lo que son, son diferentes, y eso es lo que los hace especiales. Mi aprendizaje no terminaría sino hasta que los alumnos dejen de estudiarme y me regresen al estante de donde me sacaron y depués vendría otro mas y cada alumno que me tomara, significaría una nueva aventura y algo nuevo que aprender.

Y tu, ¿que serías?
_________________

Can I just have one more Moondance with you, my love?

Me pregunto si sabe que lo observo.

Me pregunto si ella sabe que la observo. Camina con cuidado, como si temiera que el piso se fuera a desmoronar bajo sus pies, no pisa las líneas de la acera, juega consigo misma. Levanta la mirada y mira al cielo, comienza a contar cada una de las nubes con sus dedos, pero antes de darse cuenta, ya no tiene mas dedos para seguir contando, así que deja eso de lado y vuelve a su juego con las líneas de la acera. Brinca y brinca sin parar por algunos segundos, después comienza a dar vueltas hasta marearse. Se deja caer del lado del cesped y cierra los ojos, por su mente pasan mil pensamientos a la vez. Se imagina como una princesa, una princesa atrapada en un castillo, abre los ojos y mira a la derecha, hacia el roble donde me encuentro escondido. Lo mira fijamente unos instantes para que su mente lo memorice bien, después aprieta los ojos y adentra al roble en sus pensamientos. En su mente el roble es el castillo, es la fortaleza donde la tienen cautiva, y esta esperando a que vengan a rescatarla. Se imagina en una celda de ramas y hojas, sus captores son centenares de hormigas. Justo cuando comienza a imaginarse que la rescatan, abre los ojos y mira de nuevo hacia el roble, se pone de pie de un salto y levanta los brazos y comienza a dar vueltas nuevamente. Se detiene después de unos momentos y se acerca al roble, lo abraza y le da un beso. Le susurra algo que no alcanzo a entender, mira hacia arriba, a la copa del árbol y busca algo con los ojos, a mí quizás. Me pregunto si sabe que la observo. Intenta trepar, sus trémulos brazos intentan aferrarse a las ramas bajas y comienza a ascender. Sus pies resbalan unas cuantas veces antes de darse por vencida. La frustración la invade y unas lágrimas traicioneras asoman por sus ojos, las limpia rápidamente con la manga de su sueter y se sienta al pie del roble a jugar con las mariposas que por allí rondan. Escucho un crujir de ramas del otro lado del jardín y dejo de observar a la pequeña unos instantes para buscar el origen del ruido. Es su madre, que intrigada por sus juegos infantiles viene a observar a la pequeña Amelia. Vuelvo a mirar a la pequeña y me sorprende el saber que esta mirando fijamente al lugar donde me hallo oculto. Me pregunto si sabe que la observo. Estira su brazo hacia donde me encuentro y abre su mano, ha atrapado una mariposa. Esta revolotea con vigor y logra atraer mi atención, mis patas me traicionan y comienzan a cazar a la pequeña mariposa, antes de darme cuenta, la estoy siguiendo por las ramas, Amelia me ve y rie. Corre para intentar trepar el roble de nuevo, en su momento de emoción, no presta atención y resbala. La madre lo ve todo en cámara lenta, la mariposa revoloteando, yo saliendo de mi escondit, Amelia trepando, el paso en falso, y la caída. Amelia cae y se golpea la cabeza con una raíz del roble, y su rodilla roza con la corteza de otra. La madre corre a ella con los brazos abiertos y una mirada asustada. Los ojos de Amelia se inundan y su boca se abre para dejar salir sus lloriqueos ahogados, mira a su madre correr hacia ella y le estira los brazos para que la alce. La madre lo hace y la abraza hasta que la pequeña Amelia deja de llorar. Deja de llorar y se recarga en el regazo de su madre, ésta última le da un beso en la frente y la pequeña cierra los ojos y se imagina siendo al fin rescatada, por nadie mas que su madre. Abre los ojos y sonríe, la madre también lo hace y comienza a caminar hacia la casa. Bajo del roble de un salto y las observo irse. Oigo otro crujido cerca de mi y me percato del jardinero que está regando las plantas, me ve y me dirige una mirada fría.
- ¡Largo de aquí gato, arruinarás mis flores!
Corro y me escondo en el arbusto debajo de la ventana, el jardinero comienza a podar y regar las lilas, para después continuar con las rosas. Me pregunto si sabe que lo observo.

__________

MT: Paramore Special

I love Paramore, it's like a drug, and like this is the first MusicalTuesday of the year, I decided I'd make a special (: it'll be two videos, both of Paramore of course n.n, well, here they are, enjoy!

Brick By Boring Brick - Paramore


Brighter - Paramore


Ignorance is your new best friend.
Bye(:

Complicado :B

Quiero todo y no quiero nada, quiero saber que quiero y quiero saber como obtenerlo, pero las cosas no vienen facil, eso es algo que he aprendido. Tengo pero no tengo, entonces tengo o no tengo? Si, si tengo, pero yo todavía no me entero que ya lo tengo, y una ves que me entere que ya lo tengo, no lo querré mas, porque? porque asi soy, porque asi somos los humanos, queremos todo y cuando tenemos todo, entonces ya no queremos nada, por eso la conclusion es esta: queremos todo y no queremos nada. Que porque somos tan complicados? No lo se, porque si fueramos simples, sería aburrido.


Don't look up, just let them think there's no place else you'd rather be.

Think.

People lie, people hide, people cry, people fight and they don’t know why, if fear is all that we should fear then what are we so afraid of cause fear is only in our heads.

Español.

Tus ojos color miel me hablan de la belleza de las estrellas & de la enormidad del espacio, me dice que las cosas no son como son, que son mas complejas, pero a la vez mas simples, porque no las comprendemos totalmente, solo creemos comprender una pequeña parte de ellas. Asi que dejo que tus ojos me lleven a ese lugar, ese lugar que no comprendo, que esta mas allá de este mundo, lejos del odio y del amor, lejos de la tierra y del agua, porque tus ojos son una inmensidad, algo tan basto como el universo mismo, y yo puedo perderme en ellos, con tan solo mirarlos un instante.


La vida & el amor no es como lo pintan, es mas complicado y al mismo tiempo, no lo es tanto.